my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My vagina just clenched in fear
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
