I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My breasts were aching with rage.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I could fuck to npr.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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