I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
