it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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