Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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