i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
