sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think a kid would responsible me up
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
