They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
