im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
