I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
