the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can I color on your dick again?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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