this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
