Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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