Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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