You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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