I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
