so let's talk penis.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
