Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
