the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
her vagine was all disorganized.
I love having hate sex.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
