i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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