We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You ate ashes out of my bong
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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