just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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