i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
