It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
