i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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