I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
