Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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