Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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