I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
