oh god the rape fog is back!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
