Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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