Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
