Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
