His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
