Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
