I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
