I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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