before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
