I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
