Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
