We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize