New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize