the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
