That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
