You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
