Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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