id be glad to
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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