I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Actions speak louder than pants.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
