I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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