And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
