East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
