Cold hands, warm shart.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
