I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
