i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
