his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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