This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
