she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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