So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
